During the first seven years of my life, I have wondered—What does it feel like to have a baby sister?
As time passed, I finally felt the ambiance of being a big sister to a younger one. I can’t genuinely say that what I am feeling right now as an older sister is a good thing to experience, nor I am truly saying that it is a bad one.
It started of when I was a young girl when I told everybody that I am very excited to have a wider plane of responsibility and that I am totally prepared to have a younger sister. After years of waiting, my sister finally came like a quick plop!
At first I was very excited to finally be able to live with a baby sister. Days turned into weeks and my parents told me that I am now a big sister and that I should stop slacking off and they also told me that I had to act as an older sister and act more responsibly, such as taking care of her while they are gone, fixing her grooming, disciplining her when necessary, and many more. And I asked myself: “Why have I asked for this? Can I even do this? What is going to happen?” I quickly replied to myself: “You can do this. And can’t you be just thankful that you have a sister like no other? Not all people have a sister like yours and don’t take it for granted. ”
As time passed, I made a decision that I will be more responsible with her. And that, I wasn’t able to do perfectly. I had a lot of mistakes done to my sister due to my irresponsibility. But I didn’t give up.
During that time when I am taking care of her. I felt a negative feeling I shouldn’t feel. I felt like as if all my parents’ attention to my younger sibling. I felt like she had more attention more than I had. It felt wrong.
But then one time, I had come to think about it, and I thought: “Maybe she deserves it. Or maybe I was just over acting and maybe our parents pay attention to me but had to pay more attention to my younger sister because she is younger?”. But it didn’t end there. I encountered more times feeling as if my sister is the most important person for my parents, said this to me a lot.
But in this present time, I am now able to cope up with what I am feeling. And for now, I am having a good relationship with my sister. But that doesn’t mean that we are perfect sisters. Sometimes, I still make mistakes and she does too, and sometimes I get mad at her for her wrong doings. But that doesn’t keep our hearts spart and instead, it makes our hearts closer together.
And everyday, I never get tired of scolding her, but I also never get tired of hearing the words “I love you” from her.